You Always Seem About to Pay

pollicitis dives quilibet esse potest - Ovid, Ars Amatoria I.444

"Anyone can be rich in promises." (lit. "things promised")

In this section of the Ars Amatoria, Ovid advises the prospective lovers how to avoid spending  money on gifts for their girlfriends. He advises they promise to give gifts, that way they don't have to actually give anything. As he puts it:

at quod non dederis, semper videare daturus:

  sic dominum sterilis saepe fefellit ager.

- I.449-450

"But that which you haven't given, may you always seem about to give:

Thus has a barren field often deceived its master."

So, naturally, I thought of Credit Cards. 

Gospel Troopers?

Mark "Suddenly!"

Luke "Parable!"

John "Verily verily!"

Matthew "Blessed!"

The Four Evangelists and their standard heraldic symbols (Mark=lion, Luke=bull/ox, John=eagle, and Matthew=holy man/angel) as a kind of Power Rangers team, each with their own catch-phrases.

Mark uses the word for "suddenly" or "immediately" a lot, so that's his catch-phrase. Luke has perhaps the greatest number of Jesus' parables. John stubbornly writes "Verily, verily" instead of just one "verily" when Jesus says "Verily I say to you." Matthew is notable for the Beatitudes. 

Feed My Fish

"Simon, feed also my fish. Not more than enough. Also walk with my dog."

RE: John 21:15-17

Near the end of John's Gospel, Jesus instructs Peter three times to "Feed my sheep." If it were literal we might add more animals to take care of. 

Doubting Thomas and Beach Fish Fry

Left: "Who am I?" Right (Apron): "Kiss the Cook"

RE: John 20:24 - 21:14

My take on the famous "Doubting Thomas" incident in the Gospel of John (Left), and on Christ's subsequent appearance to the disciples at the Sea of Galilee (Tiberias) and the miracle of the fishes (Right). It was like a beach fish fry celebrating the Resurrection. 

So You Want to be a Roman Poet?

"So you want to be a Roman Poet?"

"Get reading, boy. The more obscure the better!"

My gosh, how I hate the ultra-learned poems we have to read sometimes. Just some poet showing off how well he knows the myths to the Nth degree--mentioning obscure places in Greece and obscure people that you  have to use the BIG dictionary to find. We get it, you're very smart. Now shut up. 

Corrigenda: A Latin professor here pointed out that it would be better to say "fieri" ("to become") rather than "esse" ("to be"). Also he suggested "quo ... quo" instead of "quantum...tantum" and that there might be a better word choice than "melius." 

Put-Upon Pilate

RE: John 18:28-40; 19:16-22

The Roman Governor of Judaea, Pontius Pilate, is having a hard week. It's Passover and the local Jewish population are more riled up than usual. They bring him this Jesus fellow to have him put to death, but they won't tell him what Jesus did and they won't even come inside the Praetorium because it would make them "unclean" for Passover. So Pilate has to go back and forth between the high-priests outside the Praetorium and Jesus in his cell inside. Jesus denies being the King of the Jews and then goes into some theological stuff about preaching the truth. Despite his efforts, Pontius has to give in to the demands of the high-priests and crucify the man. Then, on top of everything, they start complaining about the sign he put up. 

Oy vey! 

Boom! Headshot.

RE: Vergil, Aeneid IX 

So, I finished reading Aeneid book IX today, and I have to say, there were an awful lot of headshots in this book. Four of them, I think, which I have summarized above with the appropriate textual references. 

1. Tagus, an Italian, is pierced through the head by a spear thrown by Nisus
2. the son of Arcens (whose name we don't learn), gets a sling bullet to the head from Mezentius
3. Lyceus has his head chopped off by Turnus
4. Pandarus has his head sliced in two by the same. 

Vergil uses a wonderfully illustrative line for that:

      "et mediam ferro gemina inter tempora frontem"

It's a golden line (or silver?) nicely divided, like Pandarus' head, in the middle by "inter." 

Call Me Maybe

RE: John 4:4-26

Yeah... I'm probably going to hell for this comic. But I couldn't resist. There's just such a great exchange between the Samaritan woman and Jesus in this episode. If it weren't Jesus talking, you'd almost think it was flirtation. 

And a Year's Supply of Rice-a-Roni!

"Look at these Fabulous Prizes..."

RE: Vergil, Aeneid IX.263-274

This week in Augustan Literature we are reading Book IX of the Aeneid of Vergil which includes the tragic tale of Nisus and Euryalus, two lovers (both men), who volunteer to sneak past the Rutulian camp to bring Aeneas back to help the other besieged Trojans.

This comic refers to the passage in which Ascanius (aka "Iulus") promises all sorts of rich presents for them if they succeed and if the Trojans win the war. I thought of it like a game show. Funny thing is how he promises them things he doesn't have as well as what he does--like Turnus, the Rutulian king's, horse and armor. 

What Good Can There Be From Nazareth?

"In All Theatres - April 3"

"You will see greater things than these." (John 1:50)

"From John the Evangelist, [starring] Jesus Christ, Simon "the Rock" Johnson, Andrew, Philip, Nathanael, and John the Baptist"

RE: John 1:29-51, esp. 1:46

This movie poster is my reaction to today's Greek New Testament reading, especially to the montage-like way Jesus gathers his disciples and to the truculent remark by Nathanael "What good thing can there be from Nazareth?" when Philip tells him about Jesus. I also thought Jesus' remark, "You will see greater things than these" would be a good tag line for the movie. 

I imagine a sort of macho band-of-brothers kind of thing. There has to be an explosion at some point. Also, as to "Simon 'the Rock' Johnson"--that's based on the meaning of "Peter," the nick-name Jesus gives Simon, which is "Rock" or "Rocky." And since he is the son of John in the gospel of John, he can be Johnson. 

Carmen Saeculare

RE: Horace in general, but the Carmen Saeculare particularly

Horace is a tough poet. Sometimes it takes a long time to understand his poetry--like the hour it took me last night with the Carmen Saeculare, a celebratory hymn on the occasion of the ludi Saeculares in 17 BC. It was so confusing in places that I wondered if the Romans could even understand it themselves--or even Augustus. 

Of course, they could. Easily. But I feel less bad about my own Latin skills if I imagine that even Romans had trouble with it. 

Sorry for not putting this one in Latin, but I didn't know how to say "Smashing," "old boy," or "the deuce" in Latin.